is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize