my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
