I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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