did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
