It's just like the Real World with babies
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
