Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
The best revenge is premature balding
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize