He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
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