What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
