And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
