So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
