I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
it's like iHOP with fire
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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