when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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