I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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