this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
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