he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize