what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
