it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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