Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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