She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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