would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
