were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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