No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
