Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem