I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING