i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads