so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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