Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
