I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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