i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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