I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize