I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
no, he came in my armpit
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
