The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
