the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Who did Billy Mays play for?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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