I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
