I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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