My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
