You work out of a Hotel?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
