let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
