White coat. Heels.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
