I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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