I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
