My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
