I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
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how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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