"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
