YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
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We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
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Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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