He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
