Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
