i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
