I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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