You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
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