Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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