I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
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I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
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I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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