Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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