Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
