I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
