She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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