He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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