in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I think people are normalizing furries
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize