Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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